I've learned a lot of lessons since becoming a mom. I've learned that I'm a lot tougher than I ever thought I could be. Not just from giving birth twice (36 freaking hours for the first kid. ugh) but from things I've never expected such as an Autism diagnosis and my daughter dealing with "mean girls" in the 2nd grade. I'm no longer squeamish or easily nauseated and I know the difference between the "oh shit I'm bleeding and really hurt" scream to the "my sister is annoying me and won't go away" scream without having to set foot in the room. Those are just a few of the things they have taught me, here are some things I want my children to learn from me.
1. I am teaching you right from wrong. It's up to you to remember to use it. Right now it's pretty easy because you're just 8 and 10. The real test will be when you are teenagers and not under my constant supervision. I just hope and pray that you will remember what I have taught you about right and wrong and that you practice it. When faced with that decision I want you to picture me, your loving mother who sacrificed so much for you and you decide you just can't break her heart. (I'm not Catholic but that's a healthy dose of Catholic guilt for ya) If you choose "wrong" I hope to have instilled the same fear in you my mother instilled in me and you know that you'll never do that again. I still shudder at the thought of pissing off your Mimi. That being said...
2. You get in a shit ton less trouble if you tell me the truth. I don't care what you did; robbed a bank, mugged an old woman or kicked a kitten, if you lie to me there will be hell to pay. You're still going to get punished(who could really kick a kitten???) but it won't be as severe if you fess up to what you did.
3. Be nice to people. It's really not that hard. I could give you an old southern saying such as "you attract more flies with honey than vinegar" but here's the truth. No one likes an asshole. Treat people the way you want to be treated. I am NOT telling you to be a pushover or take crap. By all means stand up for yourself. But I never want to hear that you threw the first punch. Don't start the fight, but don't let them think you won't finish it.
4.Always be true to yourself. This is a hard one. Peer pressure is a total bitch and you haven't yet reached the ages where it will get really bad. Real friends won't ask you to compromise who you are. They will love you regardless.
5. This one is especially for my baby girl. I hope you never lose your sense of style. It is uniquely Natalie and I LOVE it. You're like my own little Punky Brewster. You wear big, fake flowers in your hair, purple snow boots with sundresses, your socks never match and you always look AMAZING! I want you to always have the confidence you have now and never let anyone tell you that you don't look fabulous. I doubt that will be a problem because you're one kick ass, tough chick, but I wanted you to hear it from me. :)
6. Here's one for my boy. Asperger's sucks. We know that. But it is NOT going to get the best of you. You are without a doubt the funniest, wittiest kid I have ever met. You have kept me laughing since you were a baby. You mind has always astounded me. What 2 year old can tell you all the parts of a train? I'm not talking about the engine and caboose, I mean all the things that make it run and how they fit together. I'll never forget when you shocked the teacher at your kindergarten evaluation when you asked her if she knew what a geyser was and you proceeded to name a few and how they erupt. The social skills will come with time. You are not the problem, how people react to you is their own problem. When in doubt refer to number 3. They're assholes.
As my babies get older I'm sure I'll add to the list. I am dreading the day when I have to give advice about dating, heartbreak and all the hard stuff that comes with that age. For now, I'll just keep it simple. The only thing they really need to know is how much I love them and always will.
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