Hedda the Grouch

I'm feeling kind of blah right now. No real reason, just feeling kind of blah and in a pissy mood. I don't like being in a bad mood so I thought maybe I would feel better to make a list of all things that irritate the hell out of me. Maybe it will help me get the grumps out of my system.

1. Morning people. It is not natural to jump out of bed when the alarm goes off the first time and be all "oh what a beautiful morning! I am so happy to leave my warm and cozy bed!" How do they do that? Really, I want to know.

2. Possums. Ok, they don't irritate me as much as they scare me, but there is no real reason for them! They're creepy, they hiss and almost made me piss my pants once when one crawled out from under my car. They're useless and I hate them.

3. Toothpaste in the sink. That's just gross. I don't want to wipe up any one else's spit, I don't care how closely related I am to them.

4. People who cook fish in the microwave at work. Seriously, the office does not have a good enough ventilation system for that kind of fuckery.

5. People who park so close you have to get in your car through the passenger side. Thanks a lot douche nozzle. If I had known you were going to do that I would have left the window down so I could at least feel a little cool and climb in Duke boy style instead of awkwardly falling across the front seat!

6.Food samples being handed out in the mall. Thank you, but I don't want to try the bourbon chicken that you're shoving in everyone's face and getting their germs all over. I don't need a side of the flu with my chicken. I'm good.

7. This one really grates my last nerve. "They're", "their", and "there" are 3 different words that have 3 different meanings. For the love of God please use them correctly. Also, you do not "conversate" you have a conversation!!

8. The Geico hump day commercial. I think I'm the only person who hates it, but I don't give a rat's ass!! That thing is horrible and my family loves it! UGH!!!!

I do feel a little better now. Doing this makes me realize that my list of things that make me smile is much, much longer and for that I am happy.