I'm ready to make a confession. It is something I have been told for years but tonight it bitch slapped me in the face. So here goes. I, Heather Elizabeth Glaros, am a control freak.
I'm not sure when it happened. I was never a particularly bossy person, if anything I was the person who would get bossed around. I can tell you one thing. When you notice the ugly side of yourself, it sucks. I mean it sucks big, nasty donkey balls. It's embarrassing to think that for some reason I felt like if I didn't bellow out the orders no one would know what to do. Clearly I wasn't giving people enough credit.
When the realization hit me I had two images pop into my mind. The first was me as a jackass complete with the ears and a tail. That is exactly what I felt like. The other was me as Veruca Salt, the spoiled, bossy little witch from Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. The image of me stomping my feet and demanding "I want a golden goose and I want it now" made me want to crawl in a hole and die. That's not who I am and is certainly not how I want to be thought of.
From now on I will try harder to loosen the choke hold I have on everything. If something doesn't get done when I think it needs to be done, no biggie. If, for example, clothes aren't folded the way I would fold them, I will not refold them. They will be fine just the way they are. If there are 14 pairs of socks laying in the floor, I will not unleash the beast and demand they be immediately picked up. Ok, I'll probably ask nicely that they be put in the hamper, but I won't turn into Mommie Dearest. There is no reason for me to believe I am the almighty and powerful and the only person who can get things done.
The best way to prove you have no control, is to get spastic and try to prove how much you do.
No comments:
Post a Comment