Since I became a parent almost 11 years ago, there are many things I have had to do that I never thought I would ever do in my life. I have cleaned many an explosive diaper, wiped up projectile vomit, checked the closets for monsters and treated a stuffed dog like a real animal because to my son, Max IS real. I know all the words to the songs from Teen Beach Movie and all the dance moves that go with them, I have subjected myself to the madness of Legofest and just 2 weeks ago, adopted another dog (we now have 3) because Natalie insisted this dog was lonely and was meant to be a part of our family. But today, Natalie got one over on us that I NEVER saw coming.
We had a funeral for a squirrel. A random, every day, run of the mill squirrel.
Let me start by saying Natalie is like Elly Mae from "The Beverly Hillbillies". The girl has never met a critter she didn't like. She can't stand the thought of an animal being hurt, sick or lonely. That damn ASPCA commercial with Sarah Mclachlan makes her go into hysterics to where we have to change the channel whenever we hear that song.( Thanks for ruining my whole fucking day, Sarah Mclachlan!!!) I am so proud of my little girl for being so compassionate and loving, but today really took the cake.
It all began when I noticed my two smaller dogs, Molly and Delilah, tossing something around in the backyard. I knew they didn't have a toy out there and at first I thought they had a bird because they have done that in the past. When I went to check on them I saw a bushy tail and four stiff little paws sticking straight up in the air. That poor little squirrel's mouth was open as if it had tried screaming but nothing came out. Now, I'm not sure if my dogs killed it or if it was already dead and they just thought it was a chew toy. I don't care. I was royally skeeved out that they had their mouths on the dirty thing. I did what anyone in my position would do. I hollered for my husband to come outside and discard of the deceased.
Unfortunately, all the windows were open and the kids heard me yell. Natalie came flying out of the house, "what happened? is it ok?" I stepped back to try to hide the crime scene. "No, sweetie, it's dead. But daddy's going to take care of it." She tried her best to step around me, but I'm a lot quicker than I look and I managed to get her to go back inside. Ryan got an empty box out of the trash and scooped little squirrely into it, and dropped it back into the Herbie.
We went in the house and assured the kids everything was fine. Then, with so much seriousness for an 8 year old, Natalie said "Did you bury it?"
I immediately knew where this was going. "Um, no, we put it in the trash".
As I watched my baby girl's lower lip tremble and her big blue eyes fill with tears I instantly felt like the world's biggest ass. " We have to bury it" was all she would say. Each time she said it, she got louder and the crying got uglier. Finally I couldn't take it anymore. We were going to bury that squirrel and if I had to, I would make it a proper casket and headstone.
I know my dear, sweet, understanding husband thought I'd lost my ever-loving mind when I asked him to get the shovel, but he did it anyway. We can now honestly say there isn't anything he wouldn't do for his little girl. We found a place in the side yard to lay the little bugger to rest. Joshua was trying so hard to be solemn but I could see the laughter bubbling up inside him. He was also humming the funeral march. I slapped him on the shoulder to make him stop. We asked Natalie if she wanted to say a few words but all that did was start the ugly cry all over again. We ended the service and went back inside so she could grieve privately.
So now I have one more thing to add to my list of things my children have made me do. I have also learned something. Next time there is a dead animal in the yard, I won't yell so loudly!!
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