I have stumbled across an unexpected bump in the road and it has made me realize something that everyone around me has always known and I have always known, but only admitted to probably less than half of it.
I excessively freak out. I am the undisputed queen of it. Sometimes I even preemptively freak out before there is a reason for a full- blown-sound-the-alarm-life-has-gone-off-the-rails moment. No matter how desperately I try to deny the severity of my spaz outs, I can no longer do that.
As much as I want to portray myself as a total badass, it is simply not true. I am not the person you want on your team during a zombie apocalypse. My loud and dramatic freak outs will attract walkers and I will have to do the noble thing and become zombie chow so you can save yourselves. In a horror movie I would be one of the first to die because instead of running away from the killer, my dumbass will be in such a state of panic I would probably run right into his arms as if he was going to give me a reassuring hug and not murder me.
I do not find comfort in being told "things could be worse", "it's not the end of the world" or the one phrase that can make me snap faster than taking the last cold Diet Coke out of the fridge, "don't worry."
I'm slowly coming around to the fact that freaking out due to things that I cannot control is useless, wastes time, is super unattractive(I am not a "pretty" crier) and drives my family and friends bat shit crazy. Going forward I will try to be more level headed and not assume the worst case scenario right out of the gate.
In the meantime just keep my anti-anxiety meds flowing and you won't have to dramatically slap me across the face to make me snap out of it. Seriously, don't slap me. It's rude and will piss me off and that's a whole other blog post.
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