I'm going to keep this short and sweet. (like me)
Old Man Winter can go to straight to hell.
He has ruined snow for me. I used to love waking up to see a beautiful, quiet morning, the ground covered in the sparkly, powdered perfection. But after a winter full of below zero temperatures, bitterly cold wind and more snow than I've seen in 20 years, I'm ready to join the dark side, aka, the summer lovers.
Your icy roads and sidewalks have defeated me not once, not twice, but THREE FUCKING TIMES IN ONE WEEK!! One week!! Despite my careful driving I still slid off the road, slammed into the curb and now my car likes to veer to the left. Far left at that.
Then just a few days later my careful tiptoeing through the parking lot at work was pointless. My sensible, rubber soled boots did nothing to keep me from falling rather ungracefully. Twice. My knee took a beating like I was Nancy Kerrigan and the sidewalk was Tonya Harding, and my back was so knotted up I was walking like Quasimodo.
Thanks a lot, asshole.
So with all of that I am letting you go. I no longer identify as a jeans, hoodies and boots kind of gal. I'm now all about tank tops and flip flops!! The only white I want to see is a sandy beach, and the only ice that I want near me needs to be floating in my drink.
I hope it's warm enough for ya down there.
