Dear Mom,
There are days since I have become a parent when I feel the need to pick up the phone and call to say I'm sorry for all the grief I gave you when I was growing up. I had a vision today of what my children's teenage years will be like and I have to say-I'm terrified!! Mommy, I saw the future and it is scary!! Here is my long overdue apology.
For all the times it would have been easier to knock the teeth out of my smart ass mouth than hug me, thank you for not making me look like a homeless hillbilly.
For all the times I bitched and moaned about how there was nothing to eat in the house after you had just gone to the grocery and there was enough food to feed the Duggar family, thank you for not making me starve just to teach me a lesson.
For every dinner you made that I turned up my nose at and said "I'm not hungry" and later smuggled chips out of the kitchen, thank you for not cramming them down my throat.
For all the times you made sure my clothes were washed, ironed and folded and stacked neatly on my bed for me to put away, thank you for not throwing them all out the window when one week later they lay on the floor, my desk or bed and not in my dresser where you intended.
For all the times all the necessities magically appeared and I took every one of them for granted, thank you for not making them magically disappear.
And for every foot stomp, hissy fit, eye roll, overly dramatic outburst that made up ages 14-18, thank you for always loving me. At least I hope it was out of love and not because prison orange isn't your color.
Love Always,
Your apologetic and completely terrified of your grandkids becoming teenagers, Daughter
PS
Thanks for having me first because I wasn't nearly as bad as my little sister ;)
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Showing posts with label growing up. Show all posts
Sunday, September 29, 2013
Monday, September 2, 2013
Dear 18 Year Old Me
As I sat at my kitchen table tonight, trying hard to concentrate on my Geology assignment( I seriously hate this class already. I don't care about fucking rocks!!), something occurred to me.
If I hadn't been a total moron when I was 18 I would have been finished with college long ago!! So I thought I'd write a letter to myself at 18 and jot down all the things I have learned since then.
Dear 18 Year Old Me,
I know you think it is a good idea not to start college right away. You've just spent a good chunk of your life in school and the last thing you want to do is go back to studying, homework and tests. You're such a dumbass right now that no one can tell you that taking a year off and working at Winn Dixie is the worst idea in the world. You've got a car (an 83 Dodge Aries, yeah, be jealous), you've found the love of your life, and you'll definitely start school in the spring. You totally deserve to take time off from the 4 years of stress that was high school. (facepalm!!) How could this plan fail???
Guess what? It failed royally. When you have the chance to go to school, while living at home, working part time, no real bills to pay and Mom is still cooking and doing your laundry for you, YOU TAKE THAT CHANCE AND RUN WITH IT, DIPSHIT!! That chance will never come your way again. Yes it is true that college will always be there, blah, blah, blah. But it will be there with additional responsibilities that weren't there before. It is hard as hell to work full time, raise 2 kids, keep up with housework and have time to chill out when you're an adult student. Excuse me, a "non traditional student" is what you're called now. Yes, you're still with Ryan (you did good there :) ), and yes, he is a huge help and supports you in what is now your 3rd or 4th attempt at finishing your bachelors degree. (really, you should be a damn doctor by now) But that doesn't make it any easier when it's 10 pm and you know you still need to read 2 more chapters, pack lunches for tomorrow so you can sleep in an extra 15 minutes in the morning and if you're lucky, not fall face first into your Geology book because you're exhausted.
Take my advice. Don't be so stubborn. Start school in the fall of 1996. Study what makes you happy, not what you think other people want you to do. Broadcasting was your original plan, stick with the plan. If you take this advice chances are you will have a career that you love. You won't fall into random jobs that you loathe. Seriously, you suck at math, how in the world did you ever fall into a job at a bank?? And don't get me started on what you're doing now. Cubicle hell is the only way to describe it. The monotony of it drives you bat shit crazy on a daily basis. And the reason for this is it is not what you've always wanted to do with your life. All the time you're spending studying right now could have been time that you were reading "Bossypants" by Tina Fey for the 1000th time, watching reruns of your favorite shows while you anxiously wait for the new seasons to start, or most important of all, you could have been enjoying time with your family.
Sincerely,
35 Year Old You
If I hadn't been a total moron when I was 18 I would have been finished with college long ago!! So I thought I'd write a letter to myself at 18 and jot down all the things I have learned since then.
Dear 18 Year Old Me,
I know you think it is a good idea not to start college right away. You've just spent a good chunk of your life in school and the last thing you want to do is go back to studying, homework and tests. You're such a dumbass right now that no one can tell you that taking a year off and working at Winn Dixie is the worst idea in the world. You've got a car (an 83 Dodge Aries, yeah, be jealous), you've found the love of your life, and you'll definitely start school in the spring. You totally deserve to take time off from the 4 years of stress that was high school. (facepalm!!) How could this plan fail???
Guess what? It failed royally. When you have the chance to go to school, while living at home, working part time, no real bills to pay and Mom is still cooking and doing your laundry for you, YOU TAKE THAT CHANCE AND RUN WITH IT, DIPSHIT!! That chance will never come your way again. Yes it is true that college will always be there, blah, blah, blah. But it will be there with additional responsibilities that weren't there before. It is hard as hell to work full time, raise 2 kids, keep up with housework and have time to chill out when you're an adult student. Excuse me, a "non traditional student" is what you're called now. Yes, you're still with Ryan (you did good there :) ), and yes, he is a huge help and supports you in what is now your 3rd or 4th attempt at finishing your bachelors degree. (really, you should be a damn doctor by now) But that doesn't make it any easier when it's 10 pm and you know you still need to read 2 more chapters, pack lunches for tomorrow so you can sleep in an extra 15 minutes in the morning and if you're lucky, not fall face first into your Geology book because you're exhausted.
Take my advice. Don't be so stubborn. Start school in the fall of 1996. Study what makes you happy, not what you think other people want you to do. Broadcasting was your original plan, stick with the plan. If you take this advice chances are you will have a career that you love. You won't fall into random jobs that you loathe. Seriously, you suck at math, how in the world did you ever fall into a job at a bank?? And don't get me started on what you're doing now. Cubicle hell is the only way to describe it. The monotony of it drives you bat shit crazy on a daily basis. And the reason for this is it is not what you've always wanted to do with your life. All the time you're spending studying right now could have been time that you were reading "Bossypants" by Tina Fey for the 1000th time, watching reruns of your favorite shows while you anxiously wait for the new seasons to start, or most important of all, you could have been enjoying time with your family.
Sincerely,
35 Year Old You
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